


How Does It Feel Like?

by sugarandspace



Series: I want to learn what makes you who you are [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Lazy Mornings, M/M, Magnus Bane Is Quite Magical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-17 00:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14176569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: Just some lazy morning Malec. Soft touches and sweet thoughts.





	How Does It Feel Like?

“How does it feel like?”

Magnus is startled from his thoughts when Alec’s voice breaks the calm atmosphere that had fallen over their lazy morning. He looks at Alec who has his eyes focused on their hands on the bed where the two of them are laying underneath the soft sheets, facing each other.

“Hm?”

“To have magic,” Alec specifies, using his own long finger to trace Magnus’, its light trail moving over several rings before touching skin again. “How does it feel like?”

“I don’t know,” Magnus replies, thinking it over. He turns his hand so it’s resting palm up, Alec’s forefinger mapping out the inside of his palm and the light touches giving Magnus shivers. “It’s something I’ve always had, something that’s a part of me. I can’t describe it.”  

It’s intimate in a way to have Alec touch him there, where he can feel his magic surging just underneath the skin, ready to be summoned at a flick of a wrist or a snap of his fingers. There’s not a trace of fear in his boyfriend’s eyes, only curiosity and amazement. It goes to show how different Alec is, how he doesn’t hold the same resentment that many of his kind would, were they touching his palm.

But it’s not like Magnus would let anyone else do it. There’s a huge amount of trust between them, and while it scares Magnus sometimes - to be so vulnerable around someone after so long of closing himself off - it also gives him a feeling of safety, a deep appreciation for having someone there for him, someone who won’t walk away when things get difficult. Something Alec’s proved time and time again.   

And sometimes it’s still hard to believe. There’s a fear in Magnus, deep rooted and persistent. A part that knows the dark parts of his past, a part that won’t let him forget. He knows those parts aren’t pretty and in the past people have left him for less. So he’s tried to hide these things from Alec, to make this last longer and to give them a better chance. But as more and more of his past has been revealed to Alec - what happened to his mother, his stepfather, and who his father is - and Alec has still stayed, said that he’s not going anywhere, it has made the fear noticeably smaller.

“All that power,” Alec starts, moving his finger over Magnus’ fingers again. Up a finger and back to the palm, up another, before going down, almost to the veins on his wrist. Magnus can’t resist the temptation and he uses his magic to get rid of the rings, eager to feel more of those soft touches. Alec seems startled for a moment before he smiles and continues his caresses. “It’s all there, at your fingertips. All that power on your command.”

Magnus might be a powerful warlock but it’s nothing compared to the power Alec holds over him. And what baffles Magnus the most is how Alec doesn’t even seem to notice it.

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m using it right,” Magnus finds himself saying, the confession coming easily. Having magic has its perks, but like everything else, it has another side to it as well.

“What do you mean?” Alec asks, shifting his eyes from Magnus’ hand to his face, locking eyes with him. He lays his hand on top of Magnus’, his slightly bigger one covering Magnus’ with its warmth.

“That power should be used for good,” Magnus explains. “And I aim for that but sometimes I feel like I should be doing more. Like Catarina, who works long shifts at the hospital.”

“You’re not solely responsible to save the world,” Alec says. “Overworking yourself to exhaustion would do good for no one. And you’re doing a lot of good with your magic. Not once have you said no when I’ve asked for your help. You’ve also helped Simon, Luke, Clary, Jace, and so many more.”

Alec’s hand moves slightly, his fingers falling to the gaps between Magnus’, curling and giving his hand a squeeze.

“Alexander,” Magnus says, speechless in front of his boyfriend once again. “I swear there are moments when I can see your angelic features so clearly.”

“Nonsense,” Alec says and let’s out a laugh. So ready to discredit himself, Magnus thinks.

“I mean it,” Magnus says, squeezing Alec’s hand in turn. “You think so highly of me, even on the moments when I can’t do it myself. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you and I can only hope that I find a way to return it all somehow.”

“You do,” Alec says, without missing a beat. “Every day. You’ve given so much more to my life. More love, more happiness, and most of all thanks to you I’ve been able to be more like myself. And that means more than any words can describe.”

Magnus takes a deep breath in, smiling and savoring the contentedness of the moment, “Have I ever mentioned that I love you?”

Because in the end that’s what it comes down to. Three words that hold so much meaning, so much power. But yet in the moments like this one, not even they seem to be enough.

“I love you too,” Alec says and leans forward to capture Magnus’ lips with his own.

Maybe if the words aren’t enough, Magnus could try to convey some of his emotions through the kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello? Yes, popping into this fandom for a sec to present to you my very first Malec fic. I’m no stranger to writing or this pairing but for some reason I haven’t written anything about them before. So constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Or any kind of feedback really. I’m fairly sure this won’t be the last time I’m writing Malec so it would be nice to know what you thought. :)


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